It is strange how you let things get to you - even if you know by heart and mind you shouldn’t. Even if you know it’s childish. Even if you know it’s only hurt pride and it will bring you down if you go down that path again.
It is strange how you watch yourself getting upset with these matters that shouldn’t affect you and how you do things you perfectly know you shouldn’t be doing just to end up mad at yourself for getting involved in the first place.
It is about control. And it is about giving away control gladly to give away responsibility. I am past that. I don’t want it anymore. I’m so done with victimizing myself and I am so done with jumping into actions that ensure I will be miserable again.
Saying I don’t give a fuck would be denying, I do care. But I won’t let it consume me and I will not take shit from anyone.